Hypnosis! (And not in preparation for my impending kidnapping by Ethan)

This week our baby is the size of 2 juice boxes. That's according to one of my American pregnancy iphone apps. This was a deviation from its usual fruit and veg reference points. I quite often have to Google these. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, baby was the size of a spaghetti squash. Say what now? Equally puzzling are the assertions that baby is the size of an avocado or 'an ear of corn'. But what sized avocado and ear of corn? And we all know those transatlantic cousins do things bigger and better than we do. So a 'giant' ear of corn? Or just a sad Scottish ear of corn? Do you get Scottish ears of corn? Anyway, I was delighted about the juice boxes because as of Season 5, episode 11 of Lost in 2009, I know what a juice box is. No need to Google (ooh - unless US juice boxes are bigger too?). We call them 'wee cartons of juice'. So, although it triggered a fairly dramatic series of events, I'm glad Aaron changed his mind from milk to juice.
The crochet is going well but I'm waiting for a new consignment of wool in my preferred colours so the blanket is on hold for now. But I am 'well into it' and am determined to produce at least two blankets by April. For now, I have swapped to making a silly hat but I haven't got the tension quite right and have made it a bit too big and have consequently run out of wool in that colour. I've been crocheting away while we watch Still Game, episode after episode as we've just got the box set. I'd only seen a couple of episodes on telly but thought it was worth the purchase. We love it.

Today we were at our first HypnoBirthing class. Just beforehand, neither of us wanted to go. I dislike new situations and D just prefers the path of least resistance. This means he agrees to my mad cap plans months in advance for peace, then when they approach implementation, he wishes he could just stay in the house. The added 'threat' of being hypnotised was not helping his frame of mind. Although he was mostly joking when he mentioned being made to run around like a chicken.
But it was actually a really nice afternoon. We watched a video of women just 'breathing' their babies out. No pain, no pushing, no screaming. Very very hard to believe. But you have to believe it for it to work. You have to train your sub conscious to believe it. I therefore have to listen to birthing affirmations everyday and also self-hypnotise every day. At today's class, she put us under at the end. It worked quite well for me first time and I stopped being aware of my body - it was a bit like floating. Most of what was said made sense and one of the appealing things about it was the supposed effect on the baby once it is born. If you are relaxed and sending the baby endorphins because you are happy, then that will be the baby's natural state. If you are stressed, worried, etc, you'll be sending it all those stress hormones and then that will be its natural state. So when it's born, it will cry more to produce those stress hormones it is so used to. So HypnoBirthing proponents claim that HypnoBabes are happier and eat and sleep better too because they like to have those happy endorphins in their bodies. It makes sense to me.

What I believe a little less is the chances of really having a calm, pain free birth. I think that hospitals whip you up into a state of anxiety and then you are on their conveyor belt production line. Someone on the class said that her sister in law's midwife wouldn't believe her (over the phone) that her labour was as far advanced as it was because she sounded too calm. She'd been doing hypnobirthing techniques and was completely relaxed and under control. However, one of the NHS indicators for judging the advancement of labour is how stressed you sound. That's just super, isn't it?

This week I have broken the 10st barrier. Eek! I remember how hard I worked to get below that marker. I am 10 stone, 1.75 pounds. This is a gain of 8.25 pounds (I think - it's late and I'm tired). The NHS don't seem concerned about weight but the interweb says I should have gained more than this by now. Ach, well.